Maureen Ryan interviewed Nick Offerman. The result? Hilarity.

Choose only one: eggs or bacon.

Bacon. I think it’s self-evident. Eggs are the prudent choice, but bacon is the hedonist’s choice, and that is my choice.

What if there was a zombie apocalypse, but there was bacon available?

Well, that’s a whole other can of worms. If the shit goes down, bacon can only be gleaned through the death of your livestock, whereas eggs are a renewable resource. In that case, I would choose eggs, but maybe occasionally I would come across some bacon, and I would feed my chickens bacon. If I could infuse the eggs with a little bit of pork flavor…

The hybrid is the ultimate goal.

Yeah. The picken. Or the chig.