Below is an actual IM conversation I had with my colleague, Maggie, about Ben Flajnik’s awkward new ‘Bachelor’ photo.
Maggie Furlong: um Maggie Furlong: Shades of Gray on Next Season’s ‘The Bachelor’ Chris Harnick: haha Maggie Furlong: i count 5 in one outfit Chris Harnick: it’s like … i just Maggie Furlong: he is the definition of blah Chris Harnick: the weird marbled background Chris Harnick: the grapes Maggie Furlong: prediction: there will be at least one date with him feeding a girl grapes. and it won’t end well. Maggie Furlong: i am craving some wine now though Maggie Furlong: is it too early to get pre-drunk for this season? Chris Harnick: it’s never too early to drink because of the bachelor! Chris Harnick: i mean the way he’s holding out the rose, i feel like his mom is off to the side saying “come on ben … just a little further …” Maggie Furlong: there’s a cheesy photographer with a squeaky toy somewhere, smiling with approval Chris Harnick: you never fail to make me actually LOL Maggie Furlong: HAHA Maggie Furlong: ok analyzing this more just took a dark turn Chris Harnick: like his outfit Maggie Furlong: yes - it’s very ominous Maggie Furlong: how many potential bachelorettes could he stuff into those barrels? Maggie Furlong: the rose says i’m friendly (if not a little desperate) but the barrels scream ‘don’t mess with me!’ Chris Harnick: i’m just worried … well actually kind of hoping that the winery angle means more drunken regrets caught on camera Maggie Furlong: i admire your hopefulness Maggie Furlong: serious question: since ben’s season was the season of so many josh groban look-alikes (him included), what beautifully coiffed popstar wannabes will they bring in for him? Chris Harnick: taylor swift? Chris Harnick: but i secretly hope nicki minaj Maggie Furlong: we can dream, chris. we can dream.